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Post by Zahmira on Nov 2, 2004 16:14:24 GMT -5
Yes, this is an excuse to talk American politics. The sad thing is that the results of this election may effect my country more than the results of our own election.  Personally, I like John Kerry. Not just because Erin likes him either. Well, maybe a little...  But I am Canadian, and with the exception of the Conservative Party, all the Canadian parties are left-wing. Well, all the parties that get any seats that is... So... um... go Kerry? |
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 2, 2004 16:20:51 GMT -5
Woohoo! I'm not the only Kerry fan besides Erin! I admit to being secretly thrilled that she was plugging for him. Voting today was rather easy, that's for sure. *crossing fingers* Apparently 46% of New Mexico turned out today, and considering we've got 1.1 million people, hopefully that's enough to give Kerry a push.
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Post by Zahmira on Nov 2, 2004 16:28:29 GMT -5
I just read that New Mexico got a good turn out. Which side does it usually go with?
It looks like this election might parallel the Canadian one a bit.
- Voters mad at Liberal Party (usually in power) for making promises and not keeping them several elections in a row. Liberal made the same promises again.
- Conservative Party (normally in second) looks like it is going to win.
- Votes realize "oh crap! The Conservatives are winning! I'd better vote Liberal anyway."
- Liberals win. But with a minority government.
In the states it looks like Bush might win, or that it will be very close. So Voters are saying "oh crap! Better go out and vote!" But most people who might not have voted are Kerry fans. So Kerry wins.
Maybe something like that?
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 3, 2004 11:27:16 GMT -5
New Mexico usually has a VERY low voter turnout rate. We got 46%, and everyone's shocked. Apparently someone was cheating (Big surprise there.) and tossed 20,000 "votes" in for Bush, so a recount is VERY likely. *keeping fingers crossed for Kerry* It does look like Bush is ahead right now, but the absentee ballots and the overseas ballots haven't been counted, and some precincts in various states haven't reported in. There's also the fact that there's undoubtably a LOT of fraud going on too. So...I'm thinkin' it'll be a while before we know for sure.
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 3, 2004 12:45:15 GMT -5
*ahem*
"Don't want to be an American idiot,
don't want a nation under the new mania.
Can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mind f**k America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension
All across the alienation
Where everything isn't meant to be ok.
Television dreams of tomorrow,
We're not the ones meant to follow,
For that's enough to argue.
Maybe I am the f*gg*t America
I'm not part of a redneck agenda
Now everybody do the propaganda!
And sing along to the age of paranoia
Don't want to be an American idiot,
One nation controlled by the media,
Information age of hysteria,
Calling out to Idiot America."
Thank you Green Day for making it easy to express my feelings on this bloody election.
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Post by HeavyMetalQueen on Nov 3, 2004 13:46:05 GMT -5
I like that song. Anyways, I voted for Kerry. P.S. Bush won.  |
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Post by Zahmira on Nov 3, 2004 19:46:52 GMT -5
He did indeed...
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 4, 2004 15:50:42 GMT -5
And there was...well...some sort of rejoicing anyway. *doesn't even bother to wave a really, REALLY tiny American flag* I actually feel ashamed to hold this thing.
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Post by Zahmira on Nov 4, 2004 16:11:46 GMT -5
And there was...well...some sort of rejoicing anyway. *doesn't even bother to wave a really, REALLY tiny American flag* I actually feel ashamed to hold this thing. That sucks. Come to Canada and the glory of left-wing! |
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 5, 2004 11:32:36 GMT -5
That's what my b/f and I have been talking about. ;D He's got a t-shirt with a red maple leaf and 'Invade Canada!' on it. Every time he wears it, we talk about moving up to Vancouver.
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Post by Laurel on Nov 7, 2004 16:05:18 GMT -5
It doesn't matter who wins, really. Not for me.
The whole country's image my change, but things will stay pretty much the same for us boring people. No matter who's president it won't make my family rich, nor will it make them poor.
It really won't affect anything that much.
Or at least that what I'm trying to make myself think.
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 8, 2004 11:40:58 GMT -5
I try to think the same thing, but after my father got laid off last Thursday, I know how hard it's going to be for him to find another job. The economy is getting worse than I can remember it ever being. (Yeah, massive years experience talking here,  ) When people who work hard to get ahead keep getting pushed back into a pit they're struggling to escape from, and the hand pushing them back isn't one they can control or even protest against, I have problems with that. And the Patriot Act. That really upset me. Go New Mexico for refusing it! |
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 8, 2004 18:05:00 GMT -5
(This was just WAY too funny to pass up sharing.)
To The Citizens of The United States of America
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part.
Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee' and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of
"-ize".
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents. Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.
While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys.
You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".
The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be
referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation
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Post by Zahmira on Nov 9, 2004 17:26:57 GMT -5
That's pretty rough... Funny at times though. I am going to comment on it. All my points are a comparison to Canada, which is technically still ruled by the Queen. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Kinda like Canada! Except we do have a separate Prime Minister. Since he has no real power, it doesn't matter anyway  (of course the Queen has no real power, but that's not the point) The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. I never understood where the "u" went in the states. Does anyone actually know? Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Here's something weird. Tim Hortons, a very Canadian coffee and doughnut chain, spells it "donut". However Krispy Kream (did I spell that right?) spells it "doughnut", aren't they an American company? 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. Well, Canada still get's its own national anthem. Hell, we have two! It's completly different in French. 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Is Canadian football still ok? It's a bit more difficult than American football... You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. The world series happens in Canada too! I guess it's more of a North-American-minus-Mexico series. 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. I live kinda close to Quebec, so no nukes please. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion. Go Canadian Beer! I. AM. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it). Scary gas prices over there. Um, ya, I think that covers my Go Canada rant! |
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Post by Angel_Fish on Nov 10, 2004 10:48:50 GMT -5
I found that on Open Diary and couldn't resist sharing it. Personally, (and I admit to being a huge X-Files fan here), I used to watch the show just to see Vancouver. *curses the producers for moving it to LA* Stupid Chris Carter!
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But I am Canadian, and with the exception of the Conservative Party, all the Canadian parties are left-wing. Well, all the parties that get any seats that is...
) When people who work hard to get ahead keep getting pushed back into a pit they're struggling to escape from, and the hand pushing them back isn't one they can control or even protest against, I have problems with that. And the Patriot Act. That really upset me. Go New Mexico for refusing it!
(of course the Queen has no real power, but that's not the point)